This week I have been introduced to my daughter’s new alter ego “Crazy Banshee She Devil Thing “. When I liken her performances to that of the girl from The Exorcist I am only exaggerating a little. Her sudden and dramatic appearance seemed to come from nowhere and surprised the hell out of me. I had no idea she actually existed until Monday…….
Well in hind sight maybe I had a little bit of an inkling, there had been the odd sprinkling of “Whatever!” and “Fine!” with lots of hip and head sashaying but at six she just looked comical and to be honest, cute. What a bloody stupid and naive Mummy I was…. The trouble was I think, we had been lulled into a false sense of security as she rubbed our feet and stroked our faces. For six glorious years she has loved me like no other gone before. Kind, loving and incredibly sweet and thoughtful, she seemed to be able to anticipate my feelings even before I could. She woke up with a smile and went to bed with a smile after skipping literally non stop happily throughout her day. We thought we had spawned a female baby Jesus, such was her benign and merciful nature, we couldn’t believe our luck.
But as Monday dawned, we all awoke blissfully unaware that our day of reckoning was nigh and life as we had known it was over. As soon as the door closed behind my husband as he left for work, I heard banging and high-pitched screeching from the kitchen.Fearing an accident I ran down the stairs to save them from maiming or amputation of limbs with the butter knife and there she was in all her magnificent glory. She came from nowhere this Tasmanian Devil but she hit the ground running. With arms flailing about hitting the table at appropriate moments to emphasize her point she accompanied her psychotic rant with unintelligible screeching and jumping up and down on the spot .I swear her eyes had rolled back into her head as spittle showered her brother, the object of her fury. As I tried to save his soul she turned on me with a venom that would have broken a thinner woman. I was left with no option but to send her to her room or call the police.
Apparently this little but mighty force is here to stay. So far this week she has appeared at all family meals, car journeys and bed times and there has been no time when any of us are not afraid…..very afraid. Anyone seen a vicar?…….
I am in need of food that both comforts and quietens the table. This recipe for Foccacia in the words of John Torode ” is a truly wonderful thing “. I sometimes stuff it with lovely flavours (it’s perfect for a picnic) but mostly serve it cut into generous wedges for the family alongside Spaghetti Bolognese or suchlike. It’s crispy Olive Oil crust scattered with Sea Salt and Rosemary gets me every time. Bring on the Bread