I am euphoric.Yet another roll of blubber has shuffled off its mortal coil. I am now left with one big, lone sac of fat swinging wildly around my mid riff. Hooray! Like a phoenix I am finally and in the eleventh hour, rising from the ashes of middle age. I am aware that the harsh reality is that I can never recapture the taut, dewy, soft skin of my younger days. How Lulu has managed it is a matter between her and the devil. No matter how many times I sniff my children there is no magic elixir of youth for me, yet I am still overjoyed at the departing bulbous blubber. I had honestly begun to feel that all hope was lost and I was destined to become as wide as I was tall and my appendages covered in terribly unsightly lumpy bits for ever. I felt strongly on a daily basis that my metabolic rate was being slowed to the speed of a stoned snail by the menopause and I might as well give up and have a Chinese……..again. But the prospect of abject humiliation on a rapidly approaching weekend break at Centre Parcs galvanised me into embarking on a last-ditch and desperate calorie controlled diet. I have literally been adding up my calories throughout the day and have found that the weight has been quite simply dropping off and what is more, the cravings for buckets full of fried carbohydrate have all but disappeared……I kid you not. I am not even interested in crisps any more…wtf?
Who would have thought that pure abstinence could quell the cravings that have dominated the thoughts of a long and well established fattie for at least the last ten years. It is nothing less than a phenomenon. Am I a reformed character for ever. Is the bingeing finally over for me? Or are you always only a Jammy Dodger away from relapse? One day at a time fat b.tch …………..
However I still get a huge amount of food love from baking for my children. I managed to just have one nibble of these babies and they were super lush. I have found my children go nuts for any baking with milk chocolate in it and bizarrely there are not too many recipes out there. So I twiddled a chocolate cupcake recipe originally made with dark chocolate icing. It wasn’t exactly brain surgery but I did feel wonderfully smug when my son went absolutely potty for these Milk Chocolate Fondant Cup Cakes. Bloody Well Done Me.
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