I’ve just experienced something similar to serious road rage at the showers this evening after swimming lessons……for about the fiftieth time. White hot it very nearly made me grab the woman by the heels, chuck her in the pool and tend to her child’s hair swiftly myself. Honestly I have been very close so many times. For the love of God, what are some people thinking????? Can they not see all the hundreds of children standing behind them shivering and turning blue……… seriously people……. are you in fact completely blind????? This is NOT a luxury spa offering hair treatments, this is NOT a place to shower slowly and without a care in the world whilst everybody else’s children develop hypothermia.
True to form it always seems to be me that ends up in the queue behind these unbelievable people and after much study I have noted that there are a few different subtypes amongst them…….
1-These are the Precious types who not only want to apply separate conditioner to their darling’s hair but also insist on combing the stuff through laboriously and thoroughly in order to get every single tangle out, all whilst the child is still under the shower…….just one more minute darling……nearly done darling…..did you just kick me darling??????
2-These are the Out of Control types who have no authority over their charges and their children run amok, refusing to come out of the shower or worst of all queue jumping in front of your patiently waiting and well-behaved, freezing their n.ts off child……damn those little sh.ts.
3-These are the Grandparent types who quite often merge a little with the Out of Control types due to the grandparent default spoiling position that they occupy for most of the time. They are predominantly slow with all aspects of showering and I am convinced cannot see well enough to spot the lines of children behind them rapidly developing frostbite…………. Last week I was behind one who, I kid you not, had bought shampoo and conditioner in sachets that you get free out of magazines. She was unable to open them but would not give up her shower and ten minutes later, as we were leaving, she was still in there chewing down on them like a rabid dog and the child now resembled an extremely old person.
There is also one group that merits a footnote……that of the Teenager. Never ever get behind one of these. They are there for the duration, loving it and enjoying the wind up. I had a particularly spotty one stare me out last week, I was incredulous.
Of course it’s all too late to move queues by the time you realise and what else can you do but maintain your position and watch this chinese water torture as it slowly and painfully unfolds before you. I try to look up, I try to look down, anywhere but at the adult involved and my poor shivering child but it’s to no avail and inevitably I am drawn back to the offending adult who is always, always still being INCREDIBLY slow and practically begging for a dunking in the deep end……….One day….
Halloween is nearly upon us and I am heady with excitement. I love it all but especially the food. Unfortunately I am as ham-fisted as a man with only three fingers so we are usually talking basic baking with stick on accessories. I always like to do a Halloween tea but I do find that I am baking all day like an harassed idiot and end up very tetchy over eyeball placement or who’s eaten two brownie ghosts when there was only enough for one each……..shut up fool, life is way too short for that nonsense……. So I am thinking super simple this year and have even used a chocolate fudge packet mix for this Slime Cake. No they do not taste as nice as home-made but I need to be able to bake these simply, reliably and quickly and do the kids really notice…no. The recipe below Chocolate Slime Cake is that of White Chocolate Rice Krispie Ghosts and my children go potty for them. They are super simple. Both of these Halloween Treats can be made the day before, allowing you extra time to get all your Halloween sh.t together.
PIN ME FOR LATER!
I have linked this post with Stay Classy Mama, Cook Blog Share, Brilliant Blog Posts, Friday Frolics and Recipe of the Week.