I am currently shedding skin like a lizard on steroids………the perimenopause seems to be literally sucking me dry. My skin is as tight as my husband. I feel a desperate need to be slicked in vaseline just to cross my legs. The inside fabric of my jeans is constantly dusted in skin and my forearms are developing senior citizen puckering. I feel that as I am dashing about doing my Xmas shopping up and down the aisles, obsessed and deranged with working out 3 for 2 deals, I am actually leaving a dusting behind me, my own personal contribution to the festive season.
Perhaps I should drink more water but I really can’t be bothered. Perhaps I should slather my body at bedtime in olive oil and wrap myself in clingfilm but what about the hot flushes?…….Perhaps I should bathe daily in the expensive and the exotic. Rubbing myself down afterwards with crushed crabs and fauna collected by tribesmen from natural springs on the second mountain on the left in Papua New Guinea.
What I feel we could really do with is a one stop shop for us “Shrivellies” on the high street. A place we can go that fulfills our hormonal needs for the week…… I’m thinking there would be cubicles for industrial strength moisturising. I’m thinking much like a spay tan we could bear all in paper pants, legs akimbo whilst being hosed down with a long lasting heavy duty whale emollient. I’m thinking there would be Valium and wonderful head and neck massages from heavily qualified silent swedish people for those with The Menopausal Rage. I’m thinking there would be an expert hair removal department, probably threaders. It would be nice to have some of it in a communal area….. I’m thinking everybody sat in seriously comfy reclining chairs chatting, drinking fabulous coffee and wincing together. I’m thinking complimentary freezing iced towels and wine slushies for those with The Flush. I’m thinking pedicures with real mini sandblasters. I don’t know about you but I practically have a pair of hooves………………..and biscuits, lots of biscuits.
This Cinnamon Bundt Cake recipe is just what I need at the moment. A simple, chic cake made incredibly fabulous by the cinnamon and buttery glaze topping. In fact this is now to become my Xmas Cake of choice. It is absolutely delicious and so easy to make it practically feels like cheating. Just what Santa and my hormones could do with. I found this recipe on 5BoysBaker.com and adapted it to suit my idea.
I have linked this Cinnamon Bundt Cake post up with Cook-Blog-Share and Monika at https://everydayhealthyrecipes.com
Claire with Friday Frolics over at https://lifeloveanddirtydishes.com
and Bake of the Week over at https://casacostello.com