I have nostalgic childhood memories of deliciously chunky Chocolate Shortbread from my school days. Sometimes it was covered in mint custard and sometimes served alone cut into triangles and sprinkled in sugar. Either way it was just lush. This recipe brings it back into your grown up home albeit sans mint custard. I don’t miss it with this recipe, it is just so incredibly good.
Having survived another loooooong school holiday without drinking myself under the table I think I so deserve at least three pieces of this gloriously damp Chocolate Shortbread just for breakfast……….followed by a celebratory Tequila Slammer……….
As I waved them off on their first morning back I couldn’t help but feel much like a lottery winner must do when their number finally comes up. God it felt good to be without them……..if just for six hours. Obvs I missed their beautiful faces within thirty seconds of them disappearing into the playground but what I did NOT miss was the constant bickering, stupid, stupid questions, endless snack demands and devastating detritus……. However the biggest problem I found was their newly emerging teenage stropping that before now had been unseen. Apparently my holiday house was filled to the roof with great injustice, dreadfully meagre provisions and really, really sh.t in-house entertainment …….whats wrong with a puzzle and a banana?????
Why they think that I am their personal waitress, cleaner, cook, entertainments manager and referee I know not…… I was exactly the same as a child and perhaps it is a rite of passage to treat your parents as such but it drove me nuts…….. the consequence of my new holiday responsibilities is that it immediately becomes my fault when their meals include vegetables, when the snacks are not giant choc nut sundaes and monster drinks, when the days itinerary does not include Alton Towers and when I come down in favour of one or the other. In short I am their Holiday Bitch.
No matter how many times I say” No” to the same question they still ask it again and again and again sometimes in a sing song manner like something out of a horror film…….wtf??????? Trying to remove them from their screens results in huge hysterical meltdowns and extreme shoutiness/fits…….are they really my sweet children?????? Any attempt to get them to tidy up behind them induces weeping and catatonic behaviour….
For the Love of God I challenge anyone to remain sane or even slightly cheerful. I tried several different approaches in an apparently futile attempt to ditch my Holiday Bitch job title and reinstate my previous authority but they didn’t even look up. I’m a parental has been…… I remain genuinely nonplussed as to what to do to prevent a recurrence for the next one. One thing I know for sure is that I need an A Team sized plan or a taser to make any significant difference. Is Super Nanny still out there?????
Chocolate Shortbread Recipe
This Shortbread is seriously good……moment stoppingly good in fact. A piece of this and a hot cup of something makes me forget all my parental stress just for a chocolate shortbread moment and we all need some of those. In that first bite I am back at school clutching twenty pence in my ink stained fingers and and queuing in the dinner hall at break. We were actually spoilt for choice at school and I still remember with adult longing the Iced Buns and Doughnuts that were freshly baked each day by the scary dinner ladies with white hats and ruddy hands. How lucky were we? Nowadays the poor kids are lucky if they get a sniff at school of a full fat yoghurt.
I have been rather generous with the cocoa here for an adult only experience. My children found them a bit too darkly chocolatey so please feel free to dock the amount by 10 grams but in the current situation I was glad…..it served them right.
This is as easy as it gets. I simply put the dry ingredients in my food processor and whizz to combine.
Then add the butter in cubes to the bowl and whizz again until the chocolate rubble comes together into a dough.
Simply press it into a loose bottomed lined tin. I use Bake-O-Glide, a silicone reusable liner in my 8 ” square baking tin and use a spoon to level it off and smooth it over.
Bake it at 180 C for 25 mins or firm to the touch. It will firm up as it cools. Cut into triangles for nostalgic cocoa heaven. Most suitably it is perfect for Lunchboxes.
This recipe for Chocolate Shortbread is just delicious. With merely a few whizzes of the food processor you are ready to bake. The most simple chocolatey treat.
- 225 grams plain flour
- 50 grams cocoa powder
- 140 grams caster sugar
- 200 grams unsalted butter
Preheat the oven to 180 C/ 350 F/ Gas Mark 4
Put all the dry ingredients in a food processor and whizz to combine. Add the butter and whizz again until it starts to come together into a chocolate dough. Alternatively without a food processor you can mix the dry ingredients together before rubbing the (cold) butter in with your fingers until breadcrumbs form and finally kneading it into a dough.
Empty out into an 8 " square ,or equivalent, lined loose bottomed tin and using a spoon gently press the dough evenly into the tin and smooth it off.
Bake in the oven for about 25 minutes or until firm to the touch.
Let the shortbread cool a little in the tin before marking out your slices. Wait until it is fully cool before moving to your serving plate and falling upon them.
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Here are some other delicious childhood treats – Millionaires Shortbread
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