My brain is turning to mush. At times recently it just f.cks off and leaves me completely. I mean it literally becomes blank……nothing, nada, no-one is home not even down the garden….. Now I have always been a bit of a space head, day dreamer, head in the clouds sort of character but this new level of slack-jawed vacancy is quite frankly disturbing. So far this month I have reversed into a car in a car-park…. bang, had to stand still for two whole minutes in a supermarket ( I timed it) in order to dredge up the item from my memory that I had actually started down that particular aisle five seconds earlier for, put a big squirt of bleach into the washing machine (WTF) instead of fabric conditioner and narrowly avoided a full on collision by the gnarly hairs on my chinny chin-chin.
In all of these incidents I experienced complete loss of control of my brain, no matter how I tried to remember that item of shopping, it wouldn’t come. It wasn’t dancing around in my consciousness just out of reach, I had no recollection of it at all from when I entered that aisle five seconds ago. When I reversed into the car in a car park, I had also COMPLETELY forgotten that as I got into the car ten seconds earlier there were others behind me. The bleach in the washing machine was another incident of utter absence (but I was f.cking quick to action as I had already started the cycle) and I am unable to clarify the cause of the near collision because I don’t really remember how I got there in the first place…….. but I’m willing to bet that the blame may well lie in my fuzzy direction……..”Who me officer?”
This week I went with my friend to get her eyes tested, and of course eat big bits of cake, and as I sat in the room with her she complained to the extremely large footed Optician that her contact lenses had started to scratch her eyes.”Oh yes” he said, that often happens as you age because your eyeballs start to dry out. At the time we laughed and some idiot suggested lube but that is the plain, harsh and brutal truth. I am positive that all this business has something to do with the same general dessication. My brain as well as my arse and eye balls is obviously becoming flaccid, the inner workings affected by the generic loosening and drying out of tissue. But what can an old girl do apart from begin a daily program of Optrex, Sudoko and put her name down on the sheltered housing list? I know what I can bloody do….I can eat Pie….and because desperate times call for desperate measures lets make it Deep Fried Pie……I could probably do with a little oil/lube.
In reality I have been wanting to make these for ever. I am slightly obsessed with Mcdonald’s Apple Pies. I think they are super, super, lush. I am also always looking for desserts that are hand-held and can be kept warm for times like Bonfire-night, Halloween or just generally eating outside. So this recipe is much anticipated and I am really thrilled with the result. I know that deep frying is generally frowned upon but I genuinely can’t see the harm or give a fig as long as it’s all in moderation. They can be made before hand and heated up again in the oven before being triple wrapped in foil to keep warm for up to an hour or more depending how you transport them. I use my insulated carrier and wrap them up in a towel too. Damn genius….. I hope my metabolism forgets how many I have already inhaled.
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